Why is there so much judgement around sleep training?
As I scroll through social media these days, I see a lot of pressure and unintentional judgement around how people choose to parent. Mums reach out for advice when they need help, only to be shut down and told it’s normal. Constructive advice is often shut down because someone doesn’t agree with your thoughts. It seems to be a chain of pressure down the lines of motherhood, of Chinese whispers declaring it will damage your attachment if you want to work on your child's sleep.
It baffles me because, in 2023, when maternal mental health is becoming more talked about and there is less stigma around seeking help, we still seem to be shutting down a large portion of women who are saying that they are not OK! So as someone who works with many different types of parents from all different backgrounds, I just wanted to clear a few things up.
Wanting your child to sleep more and seeking support to get it is completely valid and understandable. Sleep deprivation is torturous and you shouldn’t have to suffer through, especially if your mental health is suffering
Sleep training does not equal leaving your baby to cry! You can work on sleep without compromising your ethics as a mother. Your babies' attachment to you will not be damaged when working on their sleep
While sleep will come to all babies eventually, no matter what, the quality of that sleep will always be better if they are taught how to self-settle and connect cycles. Just as we teach our babies to breastfeed effectively, and they need to learn to wean onto solids slowly, the skills of sleep can taught. We need to stop the judgement around this!
Moral of the story? Let us celebrate each other's parenting wins and support each other when we are down. Not by telling someone that they don’t need what they are asking for, but by lending an ear and listening to them. Mum life is tough in this modern world of social media and constant societal pressure. But if we band together as a community, then I know we would be so much stronger for it!
We all have our limits and it's important to understand that someone reaching out for help is usually at the end of theirs. As always, please reach out if you would like any more clarity around this topic.
Sarah xx