Why is there so much judgement around sleep training?
As I scroll through social media these days, I see a lot of pressure and unintentional judgement around how people are parenting. Mums looking for advice are often shut down and told their baby’s behaviour is normal. How is social media impacting the way we parent and ask for help with our children’s sleep?
As I scroll through social media these days, I see a lot of pressure and unintentional judgement around how people choose to parent. Mums reach out for advice when they need help, only to be shut down and told it’s normal. Constructive advice is often shut down because someone doesn’t agree with your thoughts. It seems to be a chain of pressure down the lines of motherhood, of Chinese whispers declaring it will damage your attachment if you want to work on your child's sleep.
It baffles me because, in 2023, when maternal mental health is becoming more talked about and there is less stigma around seeking help, we still seem to be shutting down a large portion of women who are saying that they are not OK! So as someone who works with many different types of parents from all different backgrounds, I just wanted to clear a few things up.
Wanting your child to sleep more and seeking support to get it is completely valid and understandable. Sleep deprivation is torturous and you shouldn’t have to suffer through, especially if your mental health is suffering
Sleep training does not equal leaving your baby to cry! You can work on sleep without compromising your ethics as a mother. Your babies' attachment to you will not be damaged when working on their sleep
While sleep will come to all babies eventually, no matter what, the quality of that sleep will always be better if they are taught how to self-settle and connect cycles. Just as we teach our babies to breastfeed effectively, and they need to learn to wean onto solids slowly, the skills of sleep can taught. We need to stop the judgement around this!
Moral of the story? Let us celebrate each other's parenting wins and support each other when we are down. Not by telling someone that they don’t need what they are asking for, but by lending an ear and listening to them. Mum life is tough in this modern world of social media and constant societal pressure. But if we band together as a community, then I know we would be so much stronger for it!
We all have our limits and it's important to understand that someone reaching out for help is usually at the end of theirs. As always, please reach out if you would like any more clarity around this topic.
Sarah xx
Swaddling for better sleep
If you are struggling to get your newborn to sleep, you aren’t alone! Many parents come to me asking how they can get more sleep when a new baby enters the family. With some simple adjustments, you can improve your baby’s sleep. See how you can help!
Let’s talk about swaddling and why it is so important during the early months of your baby’s life! All babies are born with several normal newborn reflexes. Moro reflex, also known as the startle reflex, is one of these primitive reflex responses intended to keep a baby safe. Have you noticed your baby suddenly startle while sleeping before? This is the Moro reflex at work! The baby will experience a sensation of free-falling, where the baby reacts by lifting and stretching their arms. It often ends in the baby crying and/or waking.
We can EASILY prevent your baby from startling by swaddling them for sleep!
Over the years I have had many parents tell me, ‘My baby doesn’t like their swaddle’ or ‘They fought it so much I stopped doing it because they were always getting out’. There are lots of reasons why parents stop swaddling early. But education is power when it comes to little ones!
Here are some swaddling facts:
Babies generally don’t grow out of their startle until around 4-6 months
Swaddling helps simulate the security they felt in the womb (they squirm and move the same way they did in your belly; they just have the freedom to break out now)
Swaddling helps to reduce overall crying and helps to calm babies’ nervous system
Swaddling can help to extend sleep both overnight and for naps
Babies with Colic, reflux, and other painful conditions are the ones who benefit from swaddling the most. They also generally will be the ones who take the longest to grow out of their startle!
Some babies are less likely to startle and will grow out of this reflex quickly
Babies should be swaddled firmly around their chest/arms and loosely from the waist down to protect their hip position (think froggy legs, not straight down)
A baby who can roll easily from back to belly shouldn’t be swaddled
There are so many swaddling options out there. My personal favourite is always the classic muslin wrap! So, keep wrapping your little baby burritos for the best sleep possible!